I remember you

Back in the day, this blog was more of a collection of stories, comical interludes of my life, love life and building a life in Tel Aviv. Somewhere along the line that all changed. I got sad. Depressed. okay I admit it, I was heart-broken and torn. And to be fair I didn’t really want to write about all that stuff all day long, if you can forgive me for admitting it. So instead I simply chose not to write. I tweeted. I avoided my Facebook account. And I tweeted some more. I found it helped to let out the rage.

But now I am passed the rage and I miss writing about the funny shit that happens to me on a daily basis. During my time in New York, a friend informed me that every ‘yes this happened to me’ story I told her, sounded like a Seinfeld episode. Perhaps that is my ability to see the funny side of the crap that gets thrown at me seemingly everyday. I mean how is it that a non-gum chewer such as myself, gets gum stuck to some part of her shoe, or clothing, or both on a weekly, if not daily basis? I know! Ridiculous!

So I figured that starting a new job would pass with some level of nervousness. Perhaps even a piece of toilet roll stuck to my shoe. I even braced myself missing my mouth while drinking, falling down on the floor instead of on the chair or banging my head trying to walk through a glass door. I think I could have even mentally prepared myself for a little post lunch flatulence. You can all breathe a sigh of relief that non of these things were an issue.

Instead my first week, so far, has run a little like Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Only I have been visited by the ghosts of Dating Past.

Guy number one: We dated for a little while, while the ex and I were on one of our breaks. I don’t really remember how it ended. I think perhaps it was with me getting back with my ex. I remember how it started though. We met on Facebook. He came with my to parties. He spent the entire night, buying me drinks, cock blocking me from other guys and not making a move on me. After a week or so of this game I decided to give the bull the ultimatum to take himself by the horn or bugger off… or am I the bull? Either way, after the second drink of the night and after another guy was shooed away I turned to him and said, “Look this is fun and all, but when are you going to pluck up the courage to kiss me?” He was dumbfounded. I was a little embarrassed by my own brazenness, but I stood my ground with a little cheeky grin. “I was thinking maybe I would walk you home.” I grabbed my coat and we walked out of the bar.

I never thought I would ever see him again. In fairness I think he was recently culled from the Facebook friend list for that very reason. And yet my first day in the office, looking through the list of employees connected to my group, whose old Facebook profile picture do I see staring back at me? Yup exactly.

I tried to remember if we ended badly. If maybe I just stopped answering his calls, or if he stopped answering mine. I am pretty sure there was never a fight or an official break up, which just made the whole thing all the more awkward. And although I am partial to an awkward meeting every now and then (seeing the ex on the street could be my all time favorite) I am not sure that awkward moments and making a good first impression on your first day at the new job, go hand in hand. My nervousness turned to mild panic when I realized that if I could see his internal profile, he could see mine and this was therefore not a situation that I could just stick my head in the sand and pretend never happened, or that I didn’t notice. I had a choice. I could either wait for awkward moment to come to me, or I could face it head on. And going back to how we got together, the whole taking the bull by the horns analogy, I decided (after some wise words from a workmate) to send him a message, “Hey Dude! Long time! I guess we work together now! Awkward!”

In the end it was fine. I still don’t remember how it ended, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he remembered me. That we sat and had a great catch up. And I now have another drinking buddy at the office parties.

Then ghost number 2 appeared in  my Facebook inbox (I see a running theme here… blame Facebook!). Turns out ghost of dating past number 2 works in the same building as me. Thankfully there is no awkwardness here. I mean we barely dated. As I recall we went on a date, he informed me that I was very photogenic, as in much better in picture than in person and we became good friends for a while. Time passed and things change and we lost touch. Once a year we would check in with each other, get updates on our weird and wonderful love lives and then not speak again for another year. In some ways it is a perfect friendship. Plus I can always rely on him to speak his mind.

So here I am. Starting the new chapter of my life. Moving towards a new adventure and yet waiting for me in the doorway are two men from my past. I am not sure why. I am not sure what it means, but I am seeing it as a good sign. A reminder of how things were. Of the girl I was when I met them, versus the girl I was for a while there, versus the girl I am now. And right now… I fucking rock!

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About channahboo

I was once a Yorkshire lass, I guess I still am, but after moving to London and then on to Tel Aviv, New York and then back to Tel Aviv again, I wonder how much of the Yorkshire lass is left. The adventure continues and although many see my life as an extended episode of Seinfeld (you are free to laugh), I can also empathise with the Buddhist thought of life as our punishment. I guess the important part is the love that you carry with you through life’s journey and my back often feels the joyous strain of the weight of the love I carry.
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