Fazed and Confused

Three months have flown by and looking back I have to pinch my self to believe that we are really here. My life is changing and the future I had planned for, for so many years seems to be rapidly approaching towards me and I want to be prepared so I wont have to duck.

It is also a sad time. Good friends are going away, moving away, fading away and although I am trying to focus on the ‘important’ things in life, I am saddened and feel a sense of loss.

Gone are the days of 2 years ago where we would sit around drinking multiple bottles of wine until there was nothing more to say. No more running home from the bar via a group plunge into the Med just because we can. It seems like the fun times have gone and in its place we have something different. Different is not always bad… just not really the same.

Now we can sit around a Friday night dinner table together and a bottle of red go untouched. I look forward to evening walks with a good friend, one I can talk endlessly to and at the same time never feel boring in silence. I enjoy hanging out at my favourite vegan salad bar with my favourite vegetarian/ non-mammal eater/ fellow sprout salad obsessive girlfriend. I love coming home to snuggle in front of a movie, talk about our days and crawl in to bed.

I guess I am saying goodbye to Tel Aviv. Goodbye to all the old old hang outs; the benches we would sit and drink beer and talk for hours; the apartment block we all dreamed of living in every time we walked by; the good time restaurant that served cheap wine, cheap food and always had a free shot to give away when we sat at the bar; the old reliable sushi bar we would meet at in the evenings before we got bored and it closed down to become an ice-cream shop.

I am going to miss a lot of things, but the long evening walks, the vegan salad bar and the messaging all day long I will not!

I guess what I am saying is… Don’t faze me out just yet, because I am still here.

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About channahboo

I was once a Yorkshire lass, I guess I still am, but after moving to London and then on to Tel Aviv, New York and then back to Tel Aviv again, I wonder how much of the Yorkshire lass is left. The adventure continues and although many see my life as an extended episode of Seinfeld (you are free to laugh), I can also empathise with the Buddhist thought of life as our punishment. I guess the important part is the love that you carry with you through life’s journey and my back often feels the joyous strain of the weight of the love I carry.
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3 Responses to Fazed and Confused

  1. Julia says:

    That sucks. It sounds like your life isn’t what it used to be. Things will get better if you make them so, but I know how it feels to be hopeless.

  2. Graham says:

    Hi, I have just found your blog – go for it. I found your blog when I googled my own cancer bloghttp://grahamlove.blogspot.com I haven’t had a chance to check out all your posts but have a look at mine to find out the other site of the cancer story. I hope you enjoy(?) itbest wishesGraham Love

  3. I LOVED your blog, “Counting On Love”. I’ve been looking everywhere online to get a perspective on Israeli men in relationships…ugh, long story. I’m starting to have serious doubts about even touching them. Why are they so forward!? WTF. Like don’t they get it that if you go after someone non-Israeli you should at least look up their culture and what they’re use to before pursuing them? Seriously.

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