A cup full of guilt – drinking talk

After promising to give my body and my liver a well deserved rest from late nights and alcohol, I was lured into having drinks with my loveable and totally crazy Canadian friend Elana.

“My boyfriend will kill me if I get home drunk…. Channah have another vodka red-bull…”

So as Elana ensured that my glass was always on the half full side, we talked openly about our lives. Are we really happy? Has Aliyah provided the satisfaction we thought would come from this move? What are our passions and are we achieving them? As strong women are we achieving our potential or are we being wasted in a country that has not quite learnt to appreciate its young, strong women trying to clamor their way up the ranks? In a society dominated by the men who served together side by side in the army, how does the young female Olah Chadasha get her foot in the door? That is without lowering her morals to sleep her way up the ranks to get to her goal?

I see many of my friends letting the “have I made the biggest mistake of my life moving to Israel” thoughts go round and round in their heads. Part of this is due to not feeling satisfied in the work they managed to find here, but also due to a lack of the family stability and support they were used to in their home countries. I remember the same thoughts going round in my head every time things got tough for me back in England with my parents living in Israel. For almost eight years I lived away from my family, away from the stability only a family, that might make you go out of this world crazy, can provide. The big difference I guess was I was living in England and it was my family who were living in Israel… it was me who went into a panic every time I read about a bombing in the news. Part of the issue for many friends I know is that they feel the guilt of leaving their parents in their homes watching the news, wondering if their sons/ daughters are safe in this beautiful country that the rest of the world views as a “war zone”. Guilt is the Jewish condition we must live with… or maybe it is a Polish thing.

Elana: I’m Polish!
Me: You’re Canadian… but we wuv yooooooooooooou anyway!
Elana: Naaaaaaaaaaa my woots! I mean roots! Hiccup!

Maybe we should root canal it… once they take out the root the pain is gone… maybe it will take the guilt too!

After a bottle of red label Smirnoff and four cans of red bull, we still had not reached our conclusion. Nooman came home from a hard day at work, where as usual he got fooked into staying late, to find his roommate and friend babbling incoherent sentences about men, Israel, work, and “…that alcohol really does solve all your problems. Whoever said drinking doesn’t help lied…” (Jewel)

Elana: Do you think that I will stay in Israel?
Me: Well you have the Chutzpa of an Israeli
Elana: Really?
Me: Hunny do you think in Canada you would be able to shout out at the top of your lungs on a crowded bus “I LOVE ENGLISH! ISN’T ENGLISH GREAT!”
Elana: Ha ha true! Ha ha ha – hichup!

“Whoever said drinking doesn’t help lied. You live and you learn.”

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About channahboo

I was once a Yorkshire lass, I guess I still am, but after moving to London and then on to Tel Aviv, New York and then back to Tel Aviv again, I wonder how much of the Yorkshire lass is left. The adventure continues and although many see my life as an extended episode of Seinfeld (you are free to laugh), I can also empathise with the Buddhist thought of life as our punishment. I guess the important part is the love that you carry with you through life’s journey and my back often feels the joyous strain of the weight of the love I carry.
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One Response to A cup full of guilt – drinking talk

  1. Ginrod Isus says:

    so you’ve spent my absence saucing it up while I have been chauffering all over deutschland. now i have to wait extra days to catch up!

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