A time to… breath in

Last Friday was the last day that my entire apartment smelt of Jasmine and I never knew this to appreciate that sweet fragrance for the last time. It was the most refreshing thing about Pesach this year that gone from my bathroom was the stale odour of falafel, thanks to the heaving falafel shop under our block. For almost two weeks Jasmine swirled around our apartment with such a force that even my sheets began to take on the smell. Driving to work was made more bearable with my windows down and the sweet perfume following me all the way to my office. The only other smell that bares such a hold on my mind, other than Gucci Envy for Men (possibly the sexiest smell in the world), is the memories I have of springtime Sundays. I would be sat in my room revising for one of my exams, while listening open windowed to my father mowing the law. As the spray of grass would fly from the blades the smell would loom upwards towards my windows and it was then that I knew that soon the exams would be over and Summer lay ahead of me just a hop skip and a jump over the babbling brook of books and papers and hours sitting in silence in the gym of our school.

I look back now on these mind joggers and smile, yet know that this romantic notion is purely my mind reminiscing over the past, the time that was, and yet conscious of the fact that at the time the smell of the grass was more of an irritant to my sinuses.

When a relationship ends we girls like to give it the appropriate length of time before we move on to the next time. Sometimes this is a little longer than appropriate, but unlike men we like to pause, reminisce and give it some kind of respect before going on to the next guy. For most of the guys I know and know of, this is cut to the length of a football match, not including stoppage time – Why do guys always claim football matches to be 90 minutes when it is always more like 96minutes? Not including half time! – I guess the rule with us girls is that we give the relationship the respectful amount of time that the relationship deserves. We wonder about things like the last kiss, the last intimate moment, the one we never thought would be the last that ultimately was. Had someone said, “this is the last time you will share this together” do you think it would have been different? Better? And then there is the idea of someone else replacing you… a thought we generally like to hurl ourselves over before our insides churn out. How is it that a smell from my childhood can bring back such happy memories, yet a moment when I was at my happiest make my stomach do a double flip and my face go to auto-frown?

It is easy to wallow in this feeling. To punish yourself for how you made it all go wrong, that the feelings were all in your head, that it was not real. But it was real. Real things remain, not just a smell or a lucid memory. So when it all ends and you are left with the empty stomach feeling that only loneliness creates, what do you do? You go out, you have a good time, you take advantage of the great people around you and avoid the ones who are lesser. You dance your ass off, and always always remember to wear sun-cream. A friend I have not seen in a long time just emailed me to say hey, I miss you… and so until the summer is over I’ll open all my windows and let in the Jasmine.

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About channahboo

I was once a Yorkshire lass, I guess I still am, but after moving to London and then on to Tel Aviv, New York and then back to Tel Aviv again, I wonder how much of the Yorkshire lass is left. The adventure continues and although many see my life as an extended episode of Seinfeld (you are free to laugh), I can also empathise with the Buddhist thought of life as our punishment. I guess the important part is the love that you carry with you through life’s journey and my back often feels the joyous strain of the weight of the love I carry.
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9 Responses to A time to… breath in

  1. Then again there could also be extra time as well as penalties!

  2. Anonymous says:

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention. 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye). 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month. 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won’t happen. 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day. 6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce. 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”. 8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go. 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”. 12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc. Thank you for your cooperation.

  3. David P says:

    I was in your house once and i didn’t smell the falafel…

  4. Anonymous says:

    Do all fans obey these (ridiculously idiotic) ‘rules’?

  5. elif says:

    wow thought this was actually going to be a post without mention of men…seems I was wrong. and btw for you guys out there hugo boss or vera wang win all the way.-also never smelt the falafel Dave P can’t quite put my finger on what it is….

  6. channahboo says:

    Phew…. Anon! For a minute there i thought you were nooman, but then I remember that we are not in fact married.The falafel smell is particularly pungeont during the hours of 4pm and 9pm, when I get home from work… as opposed to the hours of 9pm – 1am when you scroungers come and stay at our hotel! By the way… looking forward to having you to stay tomorrow night els 😉

  7. elif says:

    do I detect a hint of sarcasm miss graham? and just for the record 5* hotel freeman always has availibility for you..

  8. channahboo says:

    Eli, you should know by now that my blog is dripping with sarcasm in every bite! Plus hotel Freeman I have always been a cosy and welcoming place to visit when in Jtown… in fact my favourite place in the holy city! And I am always greatful for the hostpitality I receive there… no sarcasm included ;)Finally u staying tonight will only ensure that I behave myself more than previous nights out… Eli you are my saviour!!!

  9. elif says:

    you can always dump me in the side room if your “dreamboat” comes along (and vice versa of course)

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